First off I want to apologize to ya'll for just now getting in touch with you. The last couple days have been hectic and stressful to say the least. And my TOP priority has been getting the squad moved out of the hostel and into a location where the folks can feel safe. Not to mention, some of us have been scrambling to get new passports and visas for our upcoming trip to India. So thank you very much for your patience in all this. I can't even imagine the worry ya'll must have been going thru and are still going through.

I'm sure you have heard all sorts of things about what happened two nights ago, so let me just give you the facts. Tuesday afternoon the whole squad, minus Patrice's team, (Patrice, Nate, Angie, Andi and Jen) arrived at The Brown Sugar Hostel in Johannesburg.

I realize it's got a funny name, but the hostel is not in a bad part of Jo'Burg plus we have stayed there three different times while in Africa. So I felt safe about bringing the team here. Anyway, around 8p that evening probably four, maybe five men came into the hostel armed with pistols and told everyone to get on their face in the lounge area. That's where about 12 of us were and the rest of the squad was being held in their dorm room.

Guns were pointed at people, threats were made, but NO ONE was physically harmed. Praise the Lord! However, LOTS of our stuff was taken: cash, cameras, computers, passports, phones, clothes, IPOD's, etc. I'd say the whole thing lasted about 20 minutes. As soon as it was over, the first thing we did was to make sure everyone was OK. Then we started taking an inventory of what was taken, I called AIM, and then people began calling and canceling cards. So anyway, things are just now settling down.

Just so you know, I got the squad at a missionary base an hour away from Jo'Burg. Luckily, when we get to India our team coaches Michael and Kathy Hindes will be there to help us process thru everything. Believe me, we are taking this matter seriously and we do understand the need for counseling at this time.

Now speaking of India, those that needed new passports got them and the whole squad has its visas. So, we will fly out in two groups this weekend: Me, Magen, Caroline, Patrice, Meredith, Nate, Sarah, Jen, Kim, Kelton, Gretchen, Teagan and Laura will leave Friday and Mark, Robby, Steve, Eli, Matt Peters, Matt Snyder, Angie, Ruby, Andi, Michelle, Becky and Tammy will fly out Saturday.

Again thank you for your patience. I love each one of your kids so much and their safety and well-being is my main concern. So if ya'll have any questions please email me or our team coach Michael. His email is Michael@ccchurches.com.

     I want to update you folks on what I got going on this month. Right now I’m in Swaziland working at some Adventure in Mission care points. During the next four weeks we are going to build covered cooking sites at three of the care points. You see, the GoGo’s (the name of the ladies that take care of the kids) cook the kid’s food outside over an open fire. So, if it’s raining or the wind is bad that day obviously it’s harder to cook. We’re going to make it easier on them by constructing a three-meter by two and a half meter concrete building that will protect the cooking process from the outside elements. A lot of these kids walk great distances to eat the only meal they will get that day. So it’s obviously important we get this done.

     I’ll be in Swaziland until July 20^th. Then we will head over to Johannesburg and come July 26^th we’ll be on our way to India. It’s so hard to believe our time in Africa is nearly over.

     Be blessed ya’ll. And again thank you so much for all your support.

Thank you to Kim Daniels who came up with this idea and then spent hours bringing it all together. I love you sister! And of course thank you to all my lovely, sweet and awesome teammates!

Support Need:

$4600 by July 1st

Then an additional $3200 by October 1st.

Total need: $7800

An awareness of Jesus leads to a concern for others.

God is quickly showing me my "concern" for others just ain't cuttin' it folks. "Concern" doesn't inspire, doesn't move people - it doesn't call anyone to action.

A relationship with the living God through His Son leads to a real LOVE for others.

This kind of love inspires, moves, touches, sparks a fire that can changes a people, and even a country.

God is showing me its going take this kind of love to change Swaziland.

"Concern" cripples.

Love empowers.

"Concern" gives handouts.

Love solves problems.

"Concern" gives a man a fish.

Love teaches a man to fish.

The difference is massive.

Sometimes as short-term missionaries we can do more damage than good. I'm learning there is a fine line between empowering people and crippling them.

In Swaziland, Adventures in Missions is first and foremost meeting the immediate needs of thousands upon thousands of kids. Those needs are food, shelter, clothing and medicine. In fact, this is what one of our world race teams spent the last month doing - meeting needs.

BUT, our involvement is much deeper. We are partnering with local pastors who GET the vision. Pastors who when they see hungry kids, think let's not just feed them - let's teach them how to plant a garden. That way they can grow their own food, and maybe have enough left over to sell. And who knows, with the money earned maybe they can buy a cow. You see the difference?

This is teaching a man to fish. This empowers people.

But teaching a man to fish takes commitment. It takes sacrifice. It takes LOVE - a love from Jesus. And it's the only way we'll ever change a man, a family - a country.

I've been asked to speak to a group of local pastors about this very topic. My job is to help them take the vision they have and pass it along to the American teams they'll be working with. It's important as missionaries for us to know, we will not save the world in four weeks. We need to learn what it means to partner with the locals and empower the people - not cripple them. Change takes time, but I promise you the love of Jesus inside us will change the fate of this tiny little country in Southern Africa.

For my part to continue in this, I need to raise $8000 by July 1^st.

Happy Mother's Day momma! I love you and I miss you.

I'm so freakin' blessed God chose you to be my mother. I will NEVER be able to thank you for all your love and support throughout the years.

I love you.

     OK, so if you've read my last few blogs then you can see these past few days I've been trying to wrestle down this whole concept of "receiving God's love" - getting totally naked in front of Him. And what do you know; in my nakedness He exposed something to me.

     I still find my joy, worth and identity in what I "do" or in my role.

     Roles! Geesh! Man, roles can kill us, and they will enslave us if we let them. Thing is though, we all have roles in our lives. Some of us try to obtain them, like jobs, being a mom or dad, husband or wife; other roles people give us - labels. Obviously there are tons more, but I only have a limited amount of your time. Either way, as soon as we enter in to a role, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are in danger of that role defining us. 

     For example, growing up in my small town I gained the reputation for being a wild and crazy kid. Truth be told, I really wasn't - in the beginning. I had only gotten in trouble a couple times, but as in any small town word got around quickly. That, coupled with the fact my own father had the same type of reputation when he was growing up, made people instantly label me. Next thing I know, I'm in this role as the "wild, party guy!"

     Roles create expectations. Expectations create false behavior. And once we receive approval or validation from our false behavior we find ourselves creating a false identity so when can continue to please the people around us. Because, after all, we just want to be accepted. But the problem with this false identity we created is, we are now forced to keep "putting up a front" to continue meeting the expectations that have been placed on us by our roles. And operating out of this false identity creates fear, shame and guilt. Because, deep down, we know this "false identity" is not who we really are. In fact, we are ashamed of this life we live and it makes us sick. We live in constant fear that if we are ever "found out" no one will like us.

     Let me show you how this has looked in my life.

     So, here I am this 15-year old kid and already I had the label as a drunk, wild, party guy. Now I'm not trying to throw a pity party here. I fully accept that I did some things that would warrant such a label. I do take responsibility for my actions. However, I still had the label, or role - and it hurt. I just figured, "OK, so ya'll expect me to be crazy, I'll freakin' show you crazy then!" And off I went.

     Ten years later I was completely enslaved to a lifestyle I didn't want, BUT I had no other idea how to be. I knew this crazy, party guy was not who I really was, I knew it was not who God made me to be. You know, it's funny I operated out of this false self to gain acceptance - which brought me worth and happiness. However, it was also that same false self that was bringing me misery.

     Anyway, October 20, 2001 - I got sober. Let me tell you, the years that followed were hard as hell because I had no idea how to act. I didn't know who I was. Slowly though, I found new roles to place myself in, whether that be my job as a TV sports guy or a man that had an ease with the ladies. And sure enough, these new roles created expectations, which led to the whole process being started all over again. Ultimately, I was right back in the spot of finding my joy and my worth in my roles.

     Now, here I sit in South Africa and God showed me I was getting close to doing that AGAIN in my current role as squad leader. Crazy huh?! I'm finally learning that our happiness and joy can ONLY be found in Him. I say that because our roles ALWAYS change. And if our joy is in our roles, and roles change, then our joy is not rooted in any kind of firm foundation. Joy in the Lord is unchanging, because the Lord is unchanging. So, when change hits us, and it always will, then we are steady because our life is rooted in something steady - and that's God.

     I still haven't found out how to make this all work in my life in a practical sense. But, I am learning that if I want to find my joy in God, then I must rid myself of everything else that I can run to. The last thing I want to do is define myself by my work in ministry. To me, this is the most dangerous role, because then we feel like we have to be perfect. And that's when we stop being honest and then next thing you know you got some ugly church scandal on your hands. Ministers, first and foremost, can't get caught up in that role. I already found myself trying to slide into that role - forget that! I think that's why I'm so bent on being way in your face, BLUNT HONEST!

     So yes, this year is about finding my worth in Him alone! Not anything or anyone else. I'm already seeing that in the people on my team. That's my passion folks, seeing a whole generation waking up to who they really are - because we will never find who we are in what we do. I want to see people live in freedom from roles, freedom from expectations, freedom from having to be something they are not. I've lived that life. It blows! And there is NO freedom in that. Jesus came to set us free. And let me tell you, there is TRUE FREEDOM in not having to be who the world tells you to be!

     And this is the message we preach - FREEDOM!

     But, my friends, I need to raise more support if I want to continue bringing this message to the nations and to my team.